(Difford/Tilbrook)
I never thought it would happen
With me and the girl from Clapham
Out on a windy common
That night I ain't forgotten
When she dealt out the rations
With some or other passions
I said you are a lady
Perhaps she said I may be
We moved into a basement
With thoughts of our engagement
We stayed in by the telly
Although the room was smelly
We spent our time just kissing
The Railway Arms we're missing
But love had got us hooked up
And all our time it took up
I got a job with Stanley
He said I'd come in handy
And started me on Monday
So I had a bath on Sunday
I worked eleven hours
And bought the girl some flowers
She said she'd seen a doctor
And nothing now could stop her
I worked all through the winter
The weather brass and bitter
I put away a tenner
Each week to make her better
And when the time was ready
We had to sell the telly
Late evenings by the fire
With little kicks inside her
This morning at 4:50
I took her rather nifty
Down to an incubator
Where thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter
Within a year a walker
She looked just like her mother
If there could be another
And now she's two years older
Her mother's with a soldier
She left me when my drinking
Became a proper stinging
The devil came and took me
From bar to street to bookie
No more nights by the telly
No more nights nappies smelling
Alone here in the kitchen
I feel there's something missing
I'd beg for some forgiveness
But begging's not my business
And she won't write a letter
Although I always tell her
And so it's my assumption
I'm really up the junctionDriving down those city streets,
Waiting to get down,
Won't you get your big machine,
Somewhere in this town?
Now in the parking lot garage,
You'll find the proper place,
Just follow all the written rules,
You'll fit into the space.
Pull up to my bumper baby,
In your long black limosine,
Pull up to my bumper baby,
And drive it in between.
Pull up, to it, don't drive, through it,
Back it, up twice, now that, fit's nice.
Operate around the clock,
Why don't you come in?
I've got lot's of space for everyone,
Why don't you my friend?
(Lines are short),
I'll pick you up so won't you please come on,
Shiny sleek machine believe,
It I've got to blow your horn.
Pull up to my bumper baby,
In your long black limosine,
Pull up to my bumper baby,
And drive it in between.
Pull up to it, don't drive through it,
Back it, up twice, now that fits nice,
Race it, straighten it, let me luricate,
Pull up to my bumper baby. (to end)